My quiet little rules

Picture from Calivintage.

Even though you can't see it, this picture from my favourite blog Calivintage inspired me to try on a 1940s blue pencil skirt and team it with a navy top.  When she wore this outfit I just thought WOW lovely and WOW too expensive.  I didn't copy it, but took the gist of it and made it my own. 

I try not to follow trends.  If I see something that's "in" I'll make a little mental note to resist it.  It doesn't always work and I do a job where conforming attire adds to your credibility.

Ten years from today I think I'll still be wearing the same frocks.  I  know that because I still wear ones I bought 17 years ago.  Oh my.

There's some outfits I've never bothered to alter and are still too big for me. But I imagine, age, time, contentment and maybe children will expand my waistline and the dresses I have in my wardrobe will still fit me the best way they can. 

Here's my own quiet little rules, that I sort of live by and swirl in my head.

Be proud of the size you are.

I truly mean that.  Acknowledging your body shape makes a huge difference in the clothes you wear to cover it.  I spent my childhood running the 100m sprint as fast as I could, but as girls do I saw my athletics thighs as fat.  Trouser shopping was a nightmare, so I switched to dresses.  My waist isn't as curvy as I would like, so I've defined my own waist and make skirts and dresses sit a little higher.

This isn't a model.  This is my beautiful friend Caroline.  

Don't follow fashion if it simply doesn't suit you.

I've seen so many woman throw themselves into outfits because it's in all the shops.  It's there so they think they have to wear it.  Don't.  Don't do it.  Ignore it.  Wait for something else to come along that suits your body and who you are.

Don't be a label snob.

I'm not.  I'll buy it as long as I like it.  Thinking about it, I might be anti designer labels, unless I managed to get a magnificent item cheap as chips.  The usual big names like Givenchy, Donna Karen or whoever else is popular don't give me happy butterflies. 

Nothing is perfect.
A recent purchase of a red dress came with a lovely long brown stain.  This didn't make me think gross, freak out, don't buy it, instead my head thought, oh great, get some money off and I did. Dirt doesn't put me off, neither does miss matching and missing buttons, loose stitching, holes and belts that have vanished.  If it's fixable, it's aye ok.

I bought the dress first and then noticed the label.  They make wonderful things.

I appreciate a good frock and will happily fawn over Alice Temperely.  Her whimsical, feminine dresses are magical. Instead of wanting certain labels I can't afford, I take note of a few things - patterns, cuts, length, style and keep them all lodged in my mind for future reference.  I discovered Nom de Plume Yaya last year.  They make pretty things and encourage their buyers to "indulge irresponsibly." I like that. 

Buy what you will wear.

I have one dress in my wardrobe that I've never worn.  It meant to be a bridesmaid dress, but that version of the wedding never happened.  There's no saving anything for special occasions or when I loose weight moments.  Buy it, wear it, feel fabulous.

Buy what makes you feel good.

When my heart rules - I can't say no.  If I see a dress and think it's ok, then I might walk away, but if I put on a dress and it makes me feel fab,  it's more difficult to ignore it.  Is that weird?

Magazines - to have or to have not.

I get why we buy fashion magazines.  They give ideas, they tell you what's in season.  They also make you want EVERYTHING and feel you have nothing.   There are also 1000s of other people reading the same magazine as you, seeing the same ideas and thinking "I'll get one of those."  So I stay away.  Instead I've found bloggers that I adore .

Another great outfit from Calivintage.  All rights reserved to @ Calivintage

I never weigh myself.

I was lucky to live in a home were my mum never huffed and puffed about her body.  There was no diet anything on the shelves and big pots of rice and stew were always waiting for me.  I remember once in a mighty blue moon, mum and I would laugh at her "shelf bottom" (said in an african twang). She'd dance and wiggle it and we'd laugh.

Food was for surviving and enjoying.  You can feel and see your body condition so why weigh it?

And finally... people watch - don't let the world go by.

It's the year of the sew

I thought it was my idea.

It's been on my list of things to do for about four years, but I didn't realise it was on everyone else's.

A page in my Sunday mag said "sewing will become reality TV's next big thing and you will pay people to tell you what you want."

A few years ago I started telling people what I wanted.  Even though my seamstress didn't really listen, I was happy with my Ibiza dress for my holiday in Ibiza. 

That's me in my made in North London dress.  It looks better when I'm standing up not slouching.

Well, the Great British Sewing Bee will be on the telly soon and I'll watch it with curious eyes.  Until then, I'm going to focus on materials, buttons, zips, colours, textures, patterns and more buttons.

So much too pick from... brilliant.

I have grand plans to create my own made in Southampton dress.  My deadline is May.  I'm going to a friend's wonderful wedding at Finsbury Park Town Hall and I want to look the part.  When someone says "Oh Ena, where did you get that dress?"  I can't wait to shriek with understated excitement

 "I SEWED IT MYSELF."

I've discovered Male Pattern Boldness. He only started two years ago and look what he's churning out now.  He wears it well too doesn't he?  MPB says he's proud to be the most popular men's sewing blog. I'd be proud of me too if I'd achieved so much.  I just want to make lots of dresses for me and maybe for you too.

MPB a.k.a Peter Lappin's "Cathy" shoot in New York.  Picture taken from Male Pattern Boldness.  

The site has great tips and really helpful quirky articles on all sorts of things.  There's plenty of information for people like me.

::: Start with a good machine - not got that yet.

::: Buy a good starters book - waiting for mum to remember the name  of the book she thinks is great.

::: Start small - mmmmmmmmm I'm going to ignore this and make a whole big fancy dress.

::: Make up your own rules - ooohh my favourite piece of advice so far.

::: Find a sewing community - i've got Barbara's gang and just added Peter to my virtual community  

::: Make something you really like - totally agree.

::: Take a class/Don't Take a class - i've booked a lesson, but I might cancel it now.

Got to pick a machine first.  Functional, but very presentable, very excited.  

I'll let you know how my year of the sew goes.

Make a place for yourself to be creative

This was the corner of my world that gave me some peace.

I'm a city girl.

I didn't think Glasgow bred appreciation of things that were green.  I thought I grew up in grey streets only finding colour at home.  African food, Africans materials, African ways of communicating.  We all talk loudly when my family gets together.  Loud with love.

In London, I insisted on living close to parks.  When I went back to Scotland I noticed all the wide open spaces that I'd taken for granted.

In Newcastle I lived right in the city.  And this is where I created this space. This view - limited but satisfactory.

The desk cost me £5 from a second hand sale in North Shield (Newcastle) and Brian, a seller, a man with a van that I'd never met said he'd drop it by.

The light was given to me by a friend and if you look close enough, very close there is a slide.  I found it in my mum's attic. It's a picture of her looking so content.  I stuck it onto the lamp and let the light shine through her eyes and her smile.  I think I'm going to find more slides.

Anyway, I've moved from this space, but I replicate it where ever I go.  I have a similar look here where I am.  

The view is less green, I have not yet heard the birds, but I've seen the cat with a dodgy neck that scrambles confidently across my path.  I am much happier, so the view becomes less important (I think).

Now when I'm writing, I'm typing on good memories.  I'm close to some things that matter to me and when I finally take a break to look up, I always like what I see.

Where's your space?

I feel I've had this little plaque all my life.  It sits on my desk or sometimes I blue-tac it to my window, so it's staring at me. I never ever want to loose this. x

People watch - don't let the world go by

Matilda always turns up looking great.  You can feel her calm confidence when she's around.  There are lots of ladies I know and have met that shine. 

I get my fashion tips just paying attention to those around me and those that walk past me everyday. Some people might wear stuff that I think just isn't me, but have on the prettiest earrings. Their coat maybe yuk, but underneath their old jumper with jeans looks great.  The scarf tied quickly on their head, looks way better than they think or hope or believe. 

I might not like what they wore yesterday or tomorrow, but today could be different.

Then there are people who get it right all the time.  They know who they are, what goes and what doesn't.  They are confident enough to experiment.  Meet a few more of the ladies in my life.

Susannah, but I call her Sarah.  Always glamorous.  Does sexy casual, beautifully & classy very well.

Ling.  My friend David's wife.  Quirky without trying.  She taught me tights & sandals were aye okay.

Julia. Always the best dressed lady in the office.  She put things together that I went home and copied. 

Caroline.  Innocently beautiful and gently soft.

Terri.  Laid back, confidently experiments with styles. Signature hair and a lovely person.

Alice.  Happy Alice has wicked taste, isn't afraid of colour, and is always smiling with her sisters

Danielle.  Knows what suits her, young and bold, smiley and fun with the world yet to explore.

Kaara is my happy happy traveller,  she gets out there and makes sure life gives her everything it's got.

Glasgow and that red dress

This photo is special.  It's the day before Christmas.  I'm with my wonderful quirky cousins.  I am back in the street we all grew up and they still live.  I adore them and they were happy to help me take these pictures, despite the rain.

Sel's outfit isn't meant to mirror mine.  We needed someone to be the umbrella carrier, so he put down his study books, picked his outfit off the floor, put on the new trainers I gave him for xmas and brought his African cane.  Does everyone have a cane in their wardrobe?

I'd bought this dress from one of the vintage shops you should visit.  When you walk in you just want to buy everything.  This is my air hostess dress, well that's what I thought it looked like.

It was only £8, so I couldn't leave without it. It's slightly too big, but I don't mind that.  I might fix it, but I'll probably leave it.  That's one thing about buying second hand clothes.  You don't expect them to sit perfectly.  I sort of celebrate their flaws. 

These pictures remind me of how happy family makes me.  Being back home, the rain, the familiar damp bleak surroundings, the streets stamped with invisible memories, the stories my aunt (their mother) recounts every year like we've never heard them before. We laugh like we are hearing them for the first time.  We laugh very loud.